Through some research, I’ve found that women swipe on 5%-14% of men on average, while men swipe on 52%+ of women. Assuming there’s a reasonable amount in overlap in taste between people, this means 15% of guys are swimming in matches with women, another 15% are getting occasions looks, and everyone else is swiping away match a match every few months if they’re lucky.
And that’s not say apps are “better” for women, I bet constantly dating highly appealing men who refuse to settle down with you because they have lots of options to choose from and/or just want quick and easy sex is similarly brutal to going months to a year without a date, just for different reasons.
But as a guy who doesn’t consider himself to have a top 30% dating profile… what’s the effin point of even trying online? My bad qualities shine on dating profiles (primarily just my weight… in working on it, about 15 down so far, but got another 70-85 to go), but my good qualities (humor, career, social life, hobbies, kindness, emotional intelligence, etc…) never get seen if I’m filtered out by a single image, and are hard to display in a profile anyways.
Even when I hit my fitness goals, I don’t think I have any hope to be in the top 15% of profiles. 5’8, while being a completely average and normal height irl, is seen as quite short in dating app contexts. Maybe at my fit state I could sneak into that top 30% range and get occasional dates, but even then I’ll be competing against much better looking guys for their attention and dating a pool of people that I know has unlimited perceived options.
This has made me feel lately like apps are just a completely waste of time and I should keep building my life up and hope my life organically brings me someone. Maybe a mutual friend, girl at a concert, girl I see regularly at the gym and start making light convo with over time, girl in a rec sports league, or a chance encounter.
Is this the right conclusion to come to, or am I missing something?
